Late Night's Letter
by creepweirdoloser
Summary: Roy sat down and began to write. RoyEd


A/N: I think I got the idea for this while I was on the shower (the magical place where you get the best ideas… also where you can't really put them down, great), then I continued while getting dressed and even after that. So I really _had_ to write this. It was sort of better in my head but hey, I'm just glad that I'm writing again, I've missed it and I've missed Roy and Ed. :-)

Late Night's Letter

"Are you gonna eat that or not…?"

Roy glanced at the boy who was sleeping against his lap. Roy smiled when he realized what Ed had said. Talking in his sleep, again…? Well, Roy was already used to it. Used to all his little habits. Roy stroked Ed's golden hair before he got up as carefully as he could. He didn't want to wake up the young man because he knew how grumpy Ed got if he was woken up. Even though Roy knew for a fact that it took a lot more than just shifting Ed a bit to wake up him.

Roy left the bed to go to his drawer. He opened it and in the darkness he was feeling around the many thick envelopes. Those were all letters to his best friend. After Maes' death, Roy had felt the urge to write to him often. When he got lonely, when he needed someone to vent to (even though the person could never reply), when he just missed Maes.

The envelopes were thick and there were many of them. Roy had never read them after sealing them shut. Some of them had simply Roy telling how things were, hoping he could be sharing them with Maes. Roy remembered quite a few times when he had been drunk, writing pages and pages of the same two words. _I'm sorry_. And sometimes it was pages of cursing and things like '_Damnit, Maes! I should have been the one who died. Not you. You have a family, for fuck's sake…_'

And sometimes nothing more than '_I miss you_.'

It had been a long time since the latest letter. He had been convinced he wouldn't do that anymore but that night he felt like he had to.

So Roy grabbed a paper, a pen and headed to the kitchen where he could turn on the light without having to fear he would wake Ed up. Roy sat down and began to write.

_Hello Maes._

It's been a while. I just realized the strangest thing… that is, there's an angel sleeping in my bed.  
I bet you'd be laughing yourself sick because that's such a cliché, something you'd never expect me to say. But it doesn't make it any less true.

And alright, let's be real. The so called "angel" in my bed is usually more like a devil disguised as an angel. Actually, he only looks innocent when he's asleep, just like now.

Edward Elric. Me, with Edward Elric. I can't decide whether you'd be shocked or laughing. I know you always wanted me to find myself a wife, the one like your Gracia. And while Gracia is amazing and perfect for you, I always knew I couldn't want that. I knew I needed something completely different so I was already set for spending my life alone. I would probably be doing that, being content with it but… what happened? Well, Ed did. He and those stupid combat boots of his, kicking down my walls violently, without any mercy. And then he kissed me so gently I knew I would never feel content in my life if I would let him go. So I didn't. Couldn't.

I'm happy Maes. There's not a single day when I don't miss you but… I'm happy. I do wish that you were still alive. I really would have needed someone to talk sense into me when I was struggling to admit my feelings towards him. Hawkeye and her usual method (pointing a gun to my head, which you knew already) did miracles though, but I wished you would have been there to reason with me, to understand. You always did understand me, Maes.

But he does too. I need someone like Ed and it seems silly that it took so many years for me to realize something so simple. He doesn't understand everything that goes on inside my head but he does everything he can to understand that. I know I can lean on him whenever I have to. He's so strong… I know he has the strength to hold me up and it's the kind of promise I need to have.

I'm not saying he's always strong because he's not. He's vulnerable too, even though he never really shows it. The first time he cried in front of me… well, I felt very special because you know him, Maes. You know how he is. And I do too which was why that was the moment when it was his_ turn to let his walls down. I've never felt like that, watching someone cry. I just understood at that moment that I care. I care _so much_. Yes, I've always cared for him but that was somehow even more real. And before, it had been the kid on the wheelchair or Fullmetal or Edward Elric. At that moment, I was holding Ed and I found out that I love him._

I know now that he trusts that he can lean on me. And I'm planning to be strong enough to always hold him up, whatever it takes.

What would you think about this, Maes? At times I think that maybe there's a chance that after your death, you became the guy with wings, the one who shoots arrows, making people fall in love. I bet you've been trying to find me a wife, trying to make me fall in love with all those women… but somehow it has never worked out. Until you had an idea and decided to give it a go and made me fall in love with Ed. Maes, you rat.

What else is there? I'm so in love with him. I wish I could see your face, to hear what you have to say when you found out I've found someone with whom I could easily spend the rest of my life. He's so stubborn, he hasn't admitted it yet. But I'm sure he'll come around.

He looks at me with this look that speaks volumes of how he feels towards me… especially when he thinks I don't notice. But I always do. I notice his every move, every glance, every smile. And then he calls me a 'bastard'. And then I call him a pipsqueak. Because calling each other 'darling' or 'sweety' would be weird.

I know you'd be more amused than anyone if you knew. Roy Mustang – head over heels in love? Ain't love grand? That's something you would probably say, along with a thousand more clichés. I wouldn't mind. If only I could get you back, I'd listen to your rambling about Gracia and Elysia for as long as you'd like to. I'd watch a thousand pictures of them and I would do that happily. I'd listen to you making fun of how easily a little brat did something no one else could - stole my heart.

I love you. I miss you. Even though I've never believed in God or heaven, I'm sure that there is an afterlife, just for people like you, Maes. And I really do hope I'll get to see you there when it's my time. Right now I'm busy enjoying my life with the one I love.

Until then,  
your friend Roy.

Roy put down the pen. For a while he just sat there, staring at the next before him. But he didn't read it because he had never read those letters after writing them. Roy put the letter inside the enveloped and shut it. Then he turned off the lights, moved slowly in the darkness, put the letter inside the drawer and finally – crawled back into bed.

Ed mumbled something incoherent and immediately wrapped himself around Roy. Roy kissed his forehead softly and let himself fall asleep.


End file.
